Midnight Comes Read online

  Midnight Comes

  By s.j. blasko

  Copyright © 2018 Sierra Blasko

  Cover by Sierra Blasko

  Author Photo by Leslie Buckley @blueeyedcraftyphotography

  Illustrations by Melissa Connors @melissabeexo

  All rights reserved.

  ISBN: 1720905150

  ISBN-13: 978-1720905158

  ASIN: B07DRPDHTL

  For M.B.

  For M.H.

  For J.H.

  For S.R.

  And last but not least

  For H.R.

  Whose love and enthusiasm made me feel

  Like the poems in this book

  Were truly worth sharing

  CONTENTES

  Acknowledgements

  Thirteen

  Beastly

  Rapunzel, with love

  Mermaid’s Soul

  Mirror, Mirror, on the wall

  Lost and Found

  About the Author

  Acknowledgements

  Every acknowledgements section I’ve ever read seems to start with some form of “it takes a village.” And yet, with the exception of a few wonderful people’s help, this book didn’t take a village.

  But I did.

  So to my family, who stood by me (and moreover, were excited with me) as I shrieked and panicked and broke down over this bundle of pages

  To Faith and Soleil, my beta-readers who read it, and were nice enough to also read the sixth poem (which I threw at them after announcing the release in 5 weeks)

  To my Mother, who has always believed in me, and who coached me through my distress over whether my poems were “Christian enough” or not

  To Mr. Surette and Gabby, who sparked my interest in poetry again, and

  To Michael, who wrote alongside me

  To Hannah, who I’ve already thanked, but not sufficiently for all the love and encouragement she has so unconditionally given. This book (and me too) would not be in the place we are now without her

  And lastly, to every person I have ever crossed paths with. I believe that nothing is ever coincidence, and I believe God has put every single person in my life for a reason

  So I thank you all. And I thank God for you all.

  “Some people seemed to get all sunshine, and some all shadow…”

  ― Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

  Thirteen

  The clock can’t strike thirteen.

  Midnight’s chimes are the last call.

  Cinderella hears the tolling and runs

  Fleeing

  Leaving

  The prince on the dance floor

  With only a memory

  Of a dance with an angel

  And a kiss like a whispered goodbye.

  The clock can’t strike thirteen.

  Midnight’s darkness never fades.

  Ariel cradles the knife and weeps

  Crying

  Dying

  Willing to break her own heart

  If it will spare her prince.

  He will never know

  How many times she saves him.

  The clock can’t strike thirteen.

  Midnight’s hour is all there is left.

  Marie watches mice pour across the carpet

  Squeaking

  Shrieking

  Battle cries against any and all

  Who dare oppose them

  And the nutcracker’s troops

  Are trapped in this forever war.

  The clock can’t strike thirteen.

  Midnight comes, and stays, and

  Holding on will change nothing

  (nothing.)

  In the end

  The future is a promise

  The past is an echo

  And we keep moving,

  All of us,

  Through time.

  The clock can’t strike thirteen.

  It strikes one, and the new day begins instead.

  Beastly

  It storms outside tonight

  Frightful howls

  Gusts of wind

  Sweep through the treetops

  It’s a wonder any of them stand

  For it

  Under it

  Against it

  Futile boughs swaying

  They don’t scream

  Silent as the whisper with which they sprouted from their seeds

  The wind wails

  In an agonized frenzy

  The wind lashes and tears and rips

  At the road

  At the dirt

  And the roaming stranger

  Not far from dust herself

  Me

  I am she

  I am the wanderer dressed in rags, cane in hand, mud darkening the crevices between teeth

  I am in her

  I am her

  Ahead

  A building

  A shadow

  A shade

  Looms

  The castle, covetable tonight.

  Fire crackles and pops

  Destroying the logs in the fireplace

  Who mourn like their brothers outside

  At the destruction

  The destruction of their proud limbs

  Pride came before the fall

  The swing of the axe

  And the donkey who brayed

  (in laughter, or mourning, or bondage

  They do not know

  None can ever speak another’s language

  Never perfectly

  The trees in pain

  Heard no deeper than the sound)

  And the cart

  Which brought them here

  To the fire

  Now reducing them

  To charred remains.

  Orange embers

  White ash

  and

  Black soot

  And

  There is carpet

  And cushions

  And blankets and couches and drapes

  All lie behind the door

  I lift this feeble hand to knock

  It shakes

  Trembles

  And these bones scream like the whistling wind in the treetops above

  Silently

  Someone comes

  Someone comes to take me in

  Take me in

  It opens

  A boy stands before me

  Tall

  Proud

  arrogant lines twisting his face

  As he towers

  Tall

  Proud

  Like a tree

  He takes one look

  One look is all he needs

  One glance at this withered form

  Not a glimpse of the one beneath

  “not an inn”

  What irony

  The door that opened in

  Is not the door

  To an inn

  And in is not for me

  As an inn would be

  “only a moment”

  I croak

  voice dry like these bones

  throat thick like the deluge of the night

  “to warm my self by your fire”

  “no”

  My voice shivers

  Not with cold

  With fire

  “please sir”

  “sire”

  He is a prince then

  Little lord

  Lording over the little

  Tall in pride as well as frame

  Tall like the trees

  Who shake

  And rattle their hands

  The death rattle

  For their kin and progeny

  And all the pieces of themselves

  They lose

  Under the force of the storm

  And inside

>   The trees in the fireplace echo

  Echo their terrible silence

  And the crack, sickening pop and wail

  Of the ones who lay them low

  This prince stares at me

  Like I am scum on his shoe

  Something he stepped in

  Not worth touching

  Even to rid himself of me

  “please”

  A whisper

  A warning

  As the storm screams and the fire answers

  “please—

  not even on a night like this”

  “two miles down the road”

  He turns

  Turns to shut and bolt the door

  Without mercy

  Without pity

  And the beast snaps

  Like the fire

  Like the branches

  I rise up like flames, like sheets of torrential rain

  Beautiful now

  In my fury

  In his eyes

  More than I was before

  More terrifying

  More important

  He is pale like one who sees ghosts

  No

  Not ghosts

  Beasts

  Great hulking monsters

  Pariahs

  Something he has never been

  He will be now.

  I raise my hands

  My curse falls.

  The axe fells the tree.

  Rapunzel, with love

  Dear mother

  I am glad it’s spring.

  The wind blows so sweet,

  Through my window.

  My one and only window.

  My magic portal

  Between the stone circle of my room,

  And an infinity of horizons.

  Don’t you think

  It’s wonderful?

  But to traverse it

  Would be to fall, forever,

  And die, probably.

  So instead I sit on the sill,

  Because I am happy, alive,

  And it’s interesting

  To see how much looking

  (looking, looking, looking)

  It will take for me to go mad.

  Mother

  I practiced out my plea

  Metered out the words

  Like gasoline.

  Each was volatile

  (one spark, and my world would burn)

  And precious

  (I was sure I’d pay for them later)

  But I thought

  They were worth the price.

  Dear mother

  I am sad, in my bones.

  It is beautiful outside

  And inside too.

  The sun and the sky and the breeze

  Seep in

  Like blood, like watercolors.

  My hair is clean and brushed and shines

  Like fireflies, like gold.

  You would be proud to see it.

  (when will I see you?)

  I think of you often

  But I am still sad

  Like night, like thunder.

  Dear mother

  I am alone

  The sunlight calls to me

  The birds sing to me

  (not with me)

  I wish sometimes they would,

  That I could reclaim my voice.

  But it hasn’t recovered

  Yet

  As if to sear the reminder of our argument

  Somewhere I’ll never forget it.

  The wind tugs at my hands

  (the way I used to tug at yours)

  And begs me to dance,

  But if I listen

  This little room

  Will not be enough

  For me.

  Dear mother

  I am painting.

  I painted the floor

  In blue, and green, and smears of gold

  Across the grey stone.

  But when the sunlight fell on it

  It was ugly.

  And so I washed it away

  With well-water, with tears

  Which froze my hands

  And burned my face.

  I might be sick.

  I am hot, and cold, and tired

  And my voice has not returned.

  Dear mother

  I am sorry.

  I am sorry for the fire.

  The flames my words ignited

  Reckless, inconsiderate

  Stupid words.

  I am sorry

  That you were stuck,

  Burdened with a child like me,

  A child

  Who should have grown up

  And out

  Of childish things

  Long ago.

  I am sorry,

  I am.

  Come back, mother.

  I do not need the sun

  Or the sea

  Or horses, or land, or a prince.

  Only you.

  Only you.

  Mother

  I thought I could survive the fallout.

  I stood through the blast

  And

  The fire only singed my braid.

  But I forgot

  About the winter.

  The winter of your discontent

  The winter of my misery.

  If I could go back

  I would not start this war. I know that I can never win.

  Dear mother… Forgive me.

  Your Rapunzel, with love.

  Mermaid’s Soul

  i.

  Sweet little mermaid

  Safe beneath the sea

  Sweet, angelic mermaid

  Won’t you sing for me?

  Brave little mermaid

  So bold to leave the sea

  Courageous little mermaid

  But humans are not free

  Foolish little mermaid

  He loves another, see?

  Silly little mermaid

  What now will you be?

  (Me.

  Only me.

  Always me.)

  ii.

  Have you ever downed a draught of gold?

  Like liquid sunlight, icy cold

  Which burns and cures with gentle touch

  And leaves you aching far too much

  A whole, a hole, too great to fill

  Try as you might, you never will

  It shreds and tears and rips and claws

  And you wonder what it was you lost.

  I felt it first on winter’s eve

  As I breached the waves and breathed the breeze

  Starlight tumbled from the sky, and

  I wondered what it would cost to fly

  Through air, instead of seawater’s brine

  I spotted a ship and wished it were mine

  My lot to stand on legs on land

  Run, and leap, and skip, and dance.

  iii.

  The ache inside swelled day by day

  And my heart hung heavy like molten clay

  I could not eat, I had not the will

  And when I slept, I rested ill

  At last beneath the foamy waves

  I went to the dark forbidden caves

  Sought the counsel of the sea witch’s years

  Caught her attention with the weight of my tears

  She mixed me a brew and told me to drink

  My home on the line, I stood on the brink

  Traded my form, my voice, my sound

  For the promise of fullness, at last being found

  And every step on land was pain

  Like knives and salt and poisoned rain

  Fall in love, she’d said to me

  If he loves you back, you’ll be complete

  For souls are made of potions and spells

  They have to be worked for, you have to do well

  Nothing in life ever comes free

  True love was the path to earn one for me

  No voice, no song to grace my lips

  I’d win hi
m over with the sway of my hips

  It was all I’d need, she promised this

  A beautiful thing, like I, couldn’t miss

  I found the prince, he took me in

  We sat on the shore, and I listened to him

  I learned all his stories, he heard none from me

  Each step was worth the agony

  And I fell, I fell, how hard the fall

  Like a star from the heavens, wormwood and gall

  Poisoned against me the oceans, the lake

  Mermaid or girl, my choice to make.

  iv.

  Woes come in threes, the first, my feet

  The second, the water’s rejection of me

  The third, the worst, a blow to the heart

  My prince was betrothed to a princess afar

  A princess in gold, with hair like stars

  Who grew up in a castle, not haunting the wharves

  Who smelled of perfume, not ocean’s breeze

  Whose eyes were as green as the leaves of the trees

  And how could I hate her, so kind and good

  Who braided my hair like a sister would?

  We walked on the beach, she bared her soul

  Her nightmares and dreams on the sandy shoals

  I loved my prince, but so did she

  And as soon as she came I could plainly see

  How his eyes lit up when she entered the room

  And under his gaze, her smile bloomed

  v.

  It’s amazing what truths

  Are in silence revealed

  And what hand

  Fate to each of us deals

  They were wed on the beach

  The prince and his love

  And I watched from the side

  As they set free the dove

  Both bride and groom

  Aglow with bliss

  I stood alone with

  My selfish wish

  I left that night

  Returned to the shore